The Prank
by GameOn
Summary: We all know that Castle likes to play the clown and this time he tries to pull off the ultimate practical joke on Beckett, aided by Esposito and Ryan.
1. Chapter 1

The Prank

"Explain to me again exactly why I'm here," Beckett asked as she looked around at the group of men all wearing eye visors and vests. There were twenty of Kevin Ryan's closest male friends and family members scattered around the starting area, weapons at the ready. None of the cops in the group looked remotedly concerned by this though, as the only things that these guns could shoot were pellets of paint.

"Well it's Ryan's stag night, actually more of a stag day, and you're one of the boys. We've made you an honourary male for the day," Castle explained. "Ryan, Esposito and I all agreed that it wouldn't feel right if you weren't here."

"Oh, yes that's right. It's all coming back to me now. You nagged and then guilt tripped me into coming. It still feels a bit odd being the only woman at a stag day."

"Don't worry," he reassured her. "Esposito told me that he's organized some strippers for this evening, so you'll have some female company then."

"Great," she said as she rolled her eyes.

The guy who had issued them with their guns and safety equipment, shouted out to get everyone's attention. As he went through the rules and safety briefing for paint ball, Castle listened with only half an ear. He glanced at Beckett out of the corner of his eye trying to hide the smile that was desperate to burst out onto his face.

The secret to a great practical joke was all in the preparation, he should know, he'd certainly done more than his fair share over the years. If you did your preparation right, then the victim never knew what was going on right up to the point where they ended up with the proverbial cream pie in the face.

He'd managed to get both Ryan and Esposito on a number of occasions but they were easy marks compared with Beckett. Somehow she had always managed to evade him, maybe because it was she was so good at reading people. It certainly helped in her professional life, and up until now it meant he'd never been able to catch her off guard and prank her. Today he intended to change that, this was such a good scheme that it would become the stuff of legends, it would be referred to as the 'Great Beckett Prank' by future generations.

Every one of the 'guests' on this supposed stag day was in on the joke. It had been easy to get Ryan and Esposito to agree to it, they were happy to pull a fast one on their boss. Ryan had explained the situation to his friends and family who had been invited, and they had all agreed to go along with it. The other cast in this little production he was staging were all recruited from Martha's group of theatrical friends, all actors so he was sure that they would be able to pull it off.

This first part of the day was just for fun. He would lull her into a false sense of security and then the trap would be sprung.

The group was split into three teams, each with a different color vest. Two teams of ten each and then Ryan was in a 'team' by himself because he was the groom. He had looked momentarily surprised by this, it meant that he would be a target for everyone else. For a second Castle was a bit worried that Ryan would be annoyed enough by the unfair odds that he would reveal the whole thing to Beckett but fortunately he decided to just go with it.

The cops in the group had been divided between the two groups so that both teams were evenly matched. Beckett and Esposito found themselves on the opposite team from Castle. The two of them shared matching evil grins as they stared at him.

"We are coming to get you," Esposito taunted as he pointed at Castle.

"After all of these years I finally get to shoot you and it will be perfectly legal," Beckett added.

"Bring it on," Castle replied with false bravado. He knew that if the pair of them came gunning for him, then he had no hope but he wasn't about to admit it to them.

The next forty minutes was utter mayhem as both teams raced around the maze, pelting each other with paint as they tried to capture the other team's flag while protecting their own flag at the same time. As predicted Beckett and Esposito seemed to specifically target Castle as well as Ryan. Working as a combo they had hit the other pair numerous times.

"Ouch," said Castle as he felt the sting of paint pellet hitting him in the ass. He put his hands up to admit that he'd been 'killed' (which guaranteed him safe passage) as he turned around to head back to his starting area where he would miraculously come back to life. He spotted his shooter, it was Beckett.

She mimed blowing smoke from the end of her gun barrel as she grinned at him. "There have been so many times that I've wanted to kick you in the ass, I guess that this is almost as good."

He didn't say anything as he walked away in defeat, she might be laughing now but he'd be the one laughing the loudest by the end of the evening.

* * *

Ryan stood in the middle of the bar, a cold beer in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other. He was a riot of color, almost as if some demented five year old kid had been let loose with pots of paint, in some ways that was exactly what had happened. The other combatants were also splattered with paint but not to the same extent, the only one who came even close was Castle.

"Looking good there bro," Esposito complimented him. "That bit of green on your ass really brings out your eyes." Esposito high fived Beckett as they both laughed at Castle.

"Very funny, teaming up to pick on the guy who doesn't have SWAT training," Castle whined.

"I don't know what you're complaining about, I'm the one who got picked on by everyone," Ryan said. "Those paint balls might be small but they can sure sting. I'm going to have bruises on my bruises, the number of times that I got hit. Lucky I didn't get hit anywhere that won't be covered by my tux. If I had bruises that showed up on the wedding photos then Jenny would kill me."

They all agreed that that was a situation best avoided. Jenny was a sweet person but even the mildest of women could turn into Bridezilla with the right aggravation. It was best to not antagonize the bride the week before the wedding.

Beckett took a long sip of the cool beer that she was holding. It was delicious, the cold beverage was like nectar sliding down her throat. Nothing could beat a cold beer after all the running around that they had been doing. She had to admit that she was enjoying the stag day so far. After paint ball a bus had taken all of them to Castle's bar. He'd closed it to the public for the afternoon, so it was just their little party relaxing with some drinks and food.

"Make sure you grab some food as well Beckett," Esposito warned her. "This is really the only chance that you'll get to eat. I've got lots of things planned for tonight and we won't get much of a chance to stop."

"What's on the agenda then?" she asked.

"Well, everyone gets an hour to go home, get showered and changed out of these clothes before they have to meet back here at seven pm. Then we start the pub crawl, Ryan here gets to down a pint of Guinness at every bar we go to from here to the strip club. And then the fine exotic dancers at the club will let him take one last look at what he's giving up when he gets hitched next week."

"Hmm, I might skip that part," Beckett mused.

"No way, you have to come for the whole night," Castle begged. "It's Ryan's stag night, he needs all the support that he can get. You aren't about to abandon him in his time of need are you?"

"Don't you think that having a woman come along on a stag night might be a bit inhibiting? You guys will probably find it less confining if I didn't come to the strip club as well."

"I don't have a problem with you joining us at the club," said Castle. "How about you guys?" He looked at the two detectives.

"No, not at all. You're practically one of the boys anyway," Ryan confirmed.

"See, no inhibitions at all," Castle smirked. "In fact see you with other naked women has actually featured a few times in my dreams," he joked.

In the end she agreed, mainly because with the three of them tag teaming her there was no way that she was going to get out of it, but she had a bad feeling that someone was going to regret it by the end of the night.

**A/N: This will be a short two parter. I saw an interview where Nathan Fillion admitted that he's big on pulling practical jokes on his cast mates, so I thought it might be fun for Castle to try to do the same.**


	2. Chapter 2

Castle admired his own image in the mirror. Courtesy of a fat suit which added thirty pounds, a dark wig and beard, and the expertise of a professional makeup artist, he looked so different that he was sure that his own mother wouldn't recognize him.

"Thanks Phoebe, you are truly an artist. I don't think that Beckett will be able to spot me, as long as I keep quiet," he said as he got up out of the makeup chair.

"My pleasure Rick, just make sure that you don't keep touching the wig. That kind of nervous gesture will give you away," said the makeup artist as she packed up the last of her tools.

The disguise was necessary because he wanted to be in the room when the joke went down. But if Beckett caught wind of him at all then the game would be up, hence the need for all the cloak and dagger theatrics. He settled in nervously to await the phone call from Esposito which would signal his cue to act.

* * *

"Where's Castle gone?" Beckett asked as she looked around the private room where the other guests were congregated. At least they weren't in the main part of the strip club, thank goodness for small reprieves she thought.

"I think that he's gone to talk to Amber and Candi, he's got something specific that he wants them to do in the show," Esposito replied as he took another sip on his beer.

"Castle is coaching the strippers in how to do their act? God only knows what embarrassment he is cooking up," Beckett said as she rolled her eyes. She excused herself for a moment as she wandered off to find the bathroom. It was easy to spot the male toilets but there didn't seem to be any sign of a female equivalent. Not too surprising she guessed, when after all it was a strip club catering to male patrons.

In the end she had to ask one of the bar staff for directions.

"Sorry, we don't have a separate toilet for female guests. But maybe you could use the one for the female staff. You have to go through the dancers' changing room to get to it though," he pointed to an area around the back of the stage.

As soon as Beckett was out of the room Esposito was on the phone to Castle. "She's gone to the bathroom, we're good to go."

In a well orchestrated move they rearranged all the furniture in the room so it would look completely different and then all the men left, including the bar staff. A new group of men slipped into the room, including Castle in his disguise.

"You've got about five minutes before she gets back. One of the dancers in the change room will try to delay her if she comes back too soon. And the music is meant to start as soon as she walks back in. You should try to stay in the background and keep your cap pulled down low, your disguise is good but she could still make you," Esposito gave last minute instructions to Castle before he left. "Make it good, just remember we'll be watching it on the video camera."

Beckett did a double take as she walked back into the room. She could have sworn that this the room where Ryan's stag night was being hosted but she didn't recognize any of the men in it. She turned her head to look back down the corridor from which she had just come. Mentally she retraced her steps; down the hallway, past the change rooms and then turn left, first door on the left. There was no way she could have gotten lost, so where was the rest of her party?

Just as she was about to back out of the room, a strange man grabbed her arm and pulled her over to the stage as Sisqo's Thong song started blasting out of the speakers.

"Show us what you've got baby," he shouted over the music as he started to dance around her. She was quickly surrounded by five of his friends who also started dancing around her, the rest of the room joining in a litany of wolf whistles and raucous shouts.

"Oh no, I'm not a stripper," she tried to explain but it was dubious that anyone could even hear her over the loud music, plus they all looked very intoxicated. "I'm a cop," she shouted in a louder voice, as she fished her badge out of her hand bag.

"Ooooh, very sexy. I love the whole stripper cop routine. Want to show me your handcuffs as well?" said the nearest guy.

Castle was almost pissing himself with laughter as he watched Beckett's frustrated efforts to extract herself from the room. He had warned all the actors not to get too close to her, he didn't want to frighten her by barricading her in behind a wall of strange men. But equally knowing Beckett, if some guy got a little too frisky he could well end up face down on the floor with her knee in his back.

She looked so cute when she got irritated, he recognized the slight frown that she made when things weren't going her way. He could imaging her looking just as adorable at five, hair in pig tails and stamping her foot because the world wasn't co-operating with her plans.

Beckett could see that these guys clearly only had one thing on their minds. They had come here to see strippers and nothing she said was going to shift them. She wasn't physically intimidated by the situation, she knew she could get out if she really wanted to, but that would probably involve resorting to violence and she didn't think that the situation was quite that bad yet. Maybe if she pretended to give them what they wanted then she could make it over to the door.

She made a teasing show of taking the scarf from around her neck and roping the nearest man with it. There's enough of a suggestive bump and grind in her dancing to really get the crowd going and it's certainly enough to make Castle's jaw drop.

He hadn't been exactly sure what she would do in the situation; maybe yell a bit, threaten to arrest someone possibly but never did he dream that she would put on a strip tease. And though he still can't quite believe it, that is exactly what she's doing.

She's pulled her shirt tails out of her pants, briefly baring a sliver of toned midriff and then her hands have gone up to suggestively play with the top buttons of her shirt. All the while, she's turning and shifting through the crowd of men, pausing briefly to lay a flirty hand on one guy's chest before moving on to smile at the guy next to him.

Holy hell, Castle thought, if she ever gave up her day job as a cop she could make a fortune as a stripper. Maybe it was a matter of life imitating art, he remembered the phrase he'd used when he had first outlined his Nikki Heat character to Beckett, 'cop by day, stripper by night.' He was so dumbfounded by the display that she was putting on that he doesn't even notice that she's come right over to him and suddenly it's his turn to be on the receiving end of her performance.

There's no sign of recognition in her eyes, maybe he's managed to fool her, but by now the joke was the last thing on his mind. And that's because she's slipped the top two buttons undone to reveal more skin. It's not exactly R-rated, she showed more flesh when she wore that blue Herve Leger dress to the first Nikki Heat book party. The difference this time is that she's doing it with seduction in mind.

The hand that she has on his chest slides up his neck and he's mesmerized by it's slow progress. She leans in further to him and he's practically drooling by now.

"Apples, apples, apples," he yelped as her fingers suddenly twist his ear while her other hand painfully pulls off his fake beard.

"Gotcha Castle," she gloats as he squirms and the whole room is laughing at him.

She finally lets go of his ear but that's only because she needs both of her hands back so that she, Esposito and Ryan could feed the birds.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"Come on, did you really think that you could pull one over me. I'm a trained detective."

"Esposito and Ryan told you, didn't they?" he looked at the other two men accusingly.

"Of course I told her bro," Esposito admitted easily. "After that prank that you pulled on me last month, I've been itching to get one back on you."

"Thanks for setting up the video cameras for this by the way," Beckett said with smug glee. "I'm sure that they managed to capture that look on your face just before I pulled your beard off. Your jaw was practically on the floor, you were so gullible. The particular shot is definitely a keeper. I'm thinking of calling this the Great Beckett Prank, what do you think? It has a certain ring to it."

"Ok, you got me good," he conceded but he's already thinking about a scheme to get her back. Hmm, maybe next time he could set up a fake haunted house using that magician's box and the secret trap door …


End file.
